Lately, I’ve been trying to ask myself some hard things, mainly about writing and photography. Things like:
- Do I photograph special moments or do I photograph potential attention?
- Am I doing this for me or am I doing it for likes?
- Is social media controlling a larger percentage of my well-being than I want to acknowledge?
- If this is supposed to be fun – then why am I constantly stressed out about it?
I started this blog, like a lot of other bloggers choose, as an outlet. A step-away. A blank canvas. A place to organize my thoughts and emotions. A broadcast to connect. And, if we’re being honest, it’s brought me more joy than I can even begin to express.
Yet, here I am again in a cyclical trap, hurting and mostly confused with myself. When did I stop writing about the things that set me afire? When did I start feeling pressured about something I created for my own mental health? When did sharing posts on Facebook and Instagram begin taking precedence over connecting through the words being set free from my brain and my heart?
Here’s what I’m thinking:
I’m just going to write whatever the hell I want. And I’m going to photograph whatever the hell I want.
I’m going to lay my energy out there and let the good (and the bad) in.
If I manage to make one person feel something, I’ve done what I’ve set out to. I keep telling myself: no matter how much of a failure I feel somedays, there’s no possible way I’m alone in this universe as an individual. No matter our emotions, our art, our taste, the looming external factors, or the internal struggle- there is always someone out there who gets it.
Tell me how you find a balance between “you” and between social media.
Photos taken 3-6-2019 (©️ Pearl Bayou)