I’m about to bend the rules but, hell, it’s a new year and we’re all friends here.
Over at the Top 5 Wednesday Goodreads group the prompt this week is: 2019’s reading resolutions.
Cool beans…but here’s the thing.
I’m not setting a single reading goal this year and I’m definitely not buckling down any resolutions. Except one: ⬇️
My word of the year.
(I’ll get there in a second.)
Let me tell you a secret. As a reader/writer/blogger, I make myself sick sometimes with self-imposed pressure. Inner monologue as follows:
I need to be reading more.
I need to be reading harder books.
I need to be reading popular books.
I need to be writing more.
I need to be writing harder things.
I need my writing to be more popular.
Good God, y’all, it’s awful. And it’s complete and utter trash to feel bad about what I read/write or how much I read/write.
I read because I LOVE it. I write because I LOVE it. I need those two creative elements in my life as much as I need oxygen. Or puppy kisses. Or flannel PJs.
Reading and writing make me HAPPY. At least, they’re supposed to, whenever I’m not ruining it for myself by trying to “stay in the game” of the bookish-community.
I stumbled on something neat the other day: I love the word “bloom.” It makes me think of dogwood blossoming in the spring or becoming the person you’re meant to be after the earth shatters beneath your feet, all soft petals and sunlight on leaves.
But did you know the word “bloom” is also a term in metal work?
A bloom is a mass of iron, steel, or other metal hammered or rolled into a thick bar for further working.
Did you also know “bloom” is a word associated with fire?
To bloom is to become radiant and glowing. (Of fire, color, or light.)
Flower. Metal. Fire.
I wish there was a way to explain to you all how much I want to encompass those three words as a woman.
I want to be soft. I want to be strong. I want to be fierce. I want to be gentle. I want to be unyielding. I want to set my world aflame with passion and art and love.
And that’s my only “goal” for 2019.
To read whatever damn well sets me on fire. To write my backbone across a page in steel colored blood. To discover words that gentle my soul like the sun over stormy water.
Happy 2019, you guys.